ONLINE DATING
Vol. 01
For our first install of our Art of Conversation interviews, we are delving into the virtual territory of online conversations, specifically, online dating.
Online dating can be an exhilarating, unpredictable yet brutal climate. In 2022, 366 million people used some form of online dating app or website in search of a steamy hook up or something a little more serious.
Chances are, you have dipped your toes into this world of pick up lines, sexy selfies and situation-ships, too. Online dating has become an integral part of our world, and is
becoming more and more relied upon as we live more
individualistic and virtual lives.
We asked YOU what your thoughts were on online dating, the associated stigmas, the success stories and all the cringe worthy first dates that are part of the package deal.
Ok, it’s a massive topic to broach but what are your overall feelings towards online dating? Are you a serial swiper? Someone who got lucky and found the one? Or someone who cannot stand the apps whatsoever?
21, Male.
I'm a serial swiper. At first, the excitement of matching with people was a rush. Over time that faded. Purposefully picking partners gave way to mindless swiping and banal conversations. My therapist said dating apps can be great but warned me that when you start looking at other people's profiles and thinking of reasons they won't like you that's where they become a problem. I didn't pick that pattern for a long time but eventually that insight helped me shift my relationship to the apps and now I use them more conscientiously.
Female.
I had been in a 7 year relationship when we decided that we would like to both be on Tinder to try going on dates with other people. We both found wonderful connections separately, and ended up ending our own relationship with each other to be with these other people we had met. My ex partner is still with his person, and me and my person were together for a year. After that second break up, I downloaded Bumble after a friend had told me that Bumble was the ‘nicer’ option. I within two days I had met someone else wonderful, and we are still together 6 months later.
28, Male.
Overall, I really like dating apps. I think if you are able to use them with the intentions you desire, they can work really well. During my single days, I guess I might have been classed as a serial swiper, but my intentions were to meet amazing people, and hopefully find the one (which I have). I think dating apps can also be fun, but this is ruined by those with poorly communicated/ selfish intentions which are difficult to discern.
24, Female.
Up until this year I had never used a dating app before. It is not that I was against them, but they just didn’t seem like my ‘cup of tea’. I downloaded an app one night with a friend (after a few drinks) and thought I would give it a go. After one week (and a couple of dates) I matched with my now partner and the rest is history!
24, Female.
Honestly kind of hate it, I have this thing about not really wanting the person I end up with being from a dating site. But it’s been really valuable as almost practice for dating and talking to guys.
Only started using dating apps late last year when I was on a big euro trip. Basically went over to Europe with a long term partner, had just bought a house, everyone thinks we’re going to get engaged then got dumped out of the blue in Venice lol. Decided to keep traveling solo and a month or so in someone suggested I try hinge, because fuck, when else are you single and heartbroken and in europe.
And it helped me so much to regain my confidence after the break up. And I didn’t care as much because it was all people I didn’t know, would never bump into again, didn’t have mutual friends etc. So when I came home I was way more confident to just put myself out there after being in back to back relationships for the past 9 years.
What apps or websites do you mostly frequent?
- Tinder is the only app I have used.
- Tinder initially, and then Bumble.
- Hinge only hahaha. Tinder makes me sad about being single and Bumble means I have to make a move first which I can never be bothered doing.
- While single I used; Tinder, Bumble and Hinge
- I like hinge the most. It feels like it attracts people who are a wee bit weirder and more fun than apps such as tinder or bumble.
More to come on this //
If you would like to contribute in any way, DM us on instagram or send an email through to contact@neighbourhoodnz.co.nz